©2017 by Alex Stalberger

with Alex Stalberger

Minneapolis, MN, USA

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Why the 5 people you spend the most time with actually matter.

October 9, 2018


You've most likely heard this before.


"You are the sum of the 5 people you spend the most time around."


You've read the self-help books, you listen to the podcasts, you've been all over the blogzzz. You understand with your brain that you should be surrounding yourself with powerful people. 


But do you really know how important it is?


Like, do you really know how impactful it could be for you?


I want to take a moment to break down the importance of being intentional about the people we spend time with, and how to take steps toward making some adjustments. 


If you missed my latest newsletters, I have announced some big news! I have launched a project called Twin Cities THRIVE that is a holistic health resource network specifically for our communities.


Additionally, we have opened up THRIVE Studios a physical collaborative studio to support our community of health professionals that are in need of affordable and beautiful office and workshop space! 


That being said, I've been digging deeply into what makes us SuccessfWhole in our careers. Perhaps you've experienced a poor work environment? What exactly made it terrible? 


I'm willing to bet that it wasn't just the florescent lights and funny tasting water. Most likely it was the people. A boss, a coworker, a customer? Someone that did not build you up, but tore you down.


Although we are more than capable of tolerating a poor work environment, it certainly does not propel us toward being our best.


I am taking that seriously at THRIVE Studios. Each potential member is interviewed and vetted to ensure a positive and powerful fit! These are our coworkers we're talking about!


So, why does it matter so much? This is what a little digging turned up:




Dig back into your high school science class or maybe an intro to psychology class. You may recall these little guys called mirror neurons. 


They have one job, to observe the world and mimic what we see. You see it very plainly with children "Monkey see, Monkey do". But you succumb to these little neurons more often than you're aware. 


Next time you are sitting down for a meeting, double check your posture against the posture of who you're meeting with. We have a tendency to mirror and reflect other's body posture. Just as we have a tendency to mimic our partner's phrases, jokes, or facial expressions.


When you desire to uplevel in your career, practicing successful habits are key. When you surround yourself with SuccessfWhole people, you are practicing habits simply by observing them at work. 




As much as we'd like to think that we are capable of imagining the impossible... that's actually, very very very difficult. 


There are stories of great entrepreneurs who grew up with parents that relied on welfare, living amongst other desperate people. Their definition of success is scrapping enough cash to pay rent. Making enough money to shop at a swanky co-op and go to yoga class just isn't on the radar, it seems impossible. 


However, if you grew up with parents who ran a successful business, you learned another definition of success. You learned that it's possible to work for yourself and earn a living. 


If you want to lose 20lbs, experience mental clarity, and decreased headaches, discover what's possible by surrounding yourself with people that have found ways to love their body, nourish it with whole foods, move it with intention and gratitude, and thrive both at home and the office. 


Surround yourself who have done in part what you aim to do so you understand exactly what's possible. 




Like attracts like. 


Now I know you've heard "find your tribe". A tribe helps you maintain focus on whatever goal you're set out to crush.


If your people are surrounded by their people keeping these principles in mind.... ya'll are going to have the best parties.




Did you mother ever tell you to avoid hanging out with certain kids to avoid that reputation? No? Just mine then?


This is a doozey. If you want other people to perceive you as successful and accomplished, hang out with other people who are. 


Our brains put things into categories. It's an evolutionary trick that was primarily used to keep us safe. Even if we haven't seen that exact puppy before, we recognize it as a puppy therefore it is cute, cuddly, and harmless. 


Surround yourself with wellness-oriented, successful business owners and people will assume you are as well bringing you opportunities. 



Being the sum of the 5 people you know is awesome because it puts you in complete control. 


Want to ditch animal products? Spend more time around other vegans, watch and learn, than apply what fits in your lifestyle.


Want to incorporate meditation into your workweek? Get to know meditation masters through their podcasts and tutorials. It doesn't just have to be in person!


So, what if you recognize that you will need to be spending less time with _____ and more time with someone else? Being honest and upfront is always the best.


I suggest saying something along the lines of "I'll be spending more time on my project in the next year, meaning I'll be less available."


Remember, we can love someone and still decide to spend less time with them. 


Now go, be empowered to level-up!



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